The days

I have been doing ok this few months, although now and then sometimes experience difference pain. But it is a very short one. After some Chinese medic the pain is gone. I'm happy now, but have plan for CT scan this coming 8th feb. It make me nervous. I don't really want to go for the scan as it might spoilt my mood.

Anyhow, I still have to go through it.

I have being busy going to Qi gong day and night for this few months. Those cancer patient there as just at my age. Some even not marry. So pity. They still have to work as no finicial support. I'm so lucky that I have a lovely husband. Dear I owe you so much.

Blood test result

I went to blood test last week, the result show that my CEA when up from 500 to 800 and my CA 19.9 when down from 50 to 41. What does that means? Is my cancer under control or it is not? The doctor advice me to go for CT scan in dec. But I don't feel like going.

My last scan is in sept, I wish to do 6 months once, but the doctor say is a litter dangerous. She advice me if anything wrong in CT scan u can still control with chemo but don't wait until it is worst. To me, if no pain I don't what to do any scan at all even the blood test.

Can anyone help me?

1 month with Chinese medication

After months of having the Chinese medication from my sister in law and very hardworking on Qi Neng Qi Gong. I can feel my Fight is winning soon. Tomorrow I'm going for the blood test, I hope the result will be good.

I'm not going to do any MRI test or CT scan. But the doctor advice me to go for blood test. Do u think I should go for the blood test?

Days without chemotherapy for 35 days

My back waist felt litter pain. It is the feeling 5 months back before I was diagnose. The pain make me feel insecure. I keep on telling myself, I need to trust the medicine. If I don't trust it will never work.

However, just in case if anything happen, I wish to meet with some of my best friend who have not meet each other for years. I have been planning dinner at my home every now and then, to keep in touch with them, I hope it will not be too late.

I used to be workaholic, therefore do not have the time to spent with schoolmates and family. Sorry, for that.

After guo Lin Qing gong exercise, the back seem to feel better. I notice I cannot carry thing, it get painful when I carry my son. I must remind myself, no matter what happen do not carry him anymore.

Cannot sit too long either. It will get pain if I sit long.

My sister say I must be careful, as the bones can break easily. But the doctor be re infome me about this. Her friend father backbone broken, and need to reconstruct a fate back bones. So I better be careful.

A friend of mine also recommend me to eat sea mineral to protect my bone while I'm still taking zometa to protect my bones.

I never expect to recover, I only wish to maintain at this condition at least till my son schooling.

Treatment schedule

5.30 am. Sea cucumber pill
6-9 am. Guilin Qi Gong
9.30 am. Sabah snake grass, and pin chai Wong
11- 11.30am.Meditation
12 noon. Porcupine dates
1-5 pm. Fungus, mushroom, pines tree leave, almond water.
4 pm. Wheat grass or fruit juice
9 pm. Porcupine dates

Very busy, as I have to take care my son also.

Final destination

Today finally my husband and I decided to give ourselves a break. We went to watch Final Destination. I felt think story relates to myself so much, I could be the next. But who knows, whose name the next. Those who die with accident can be even faster than me. So no worries, there are always someone more bad than me. I consider lucky, as I can still do what I wish.

My 3rd opinion doctor

I went to see 3 rd opinion doctor last week, and the doctor ask me a lot of question but end up he did not tell me what those the question relate to my cancer. Below are the question:

1) when is your 1st period
2) at what age you got married
3) at what age you got pregnant, and your baby was born?
4) what else sickness do you have in your live
5) your mother die at what age,


At the end he tell me my current doctor are cheating money, as The only medicine suitable to prolonged my live is alimta. Because it has the least side effect. My current doctor which used avastin with gemzar and cisplastin will not help me to cure my cancer and I'm wasting money.

He said there is no right or wrong, if I want to be at home to just continue the rest of the time it is fine. The most I have is 5 years. If I go on alimta I might just survive a few months more maybe, or I might die faster. This is depend on your body condition. Since you have no pain at all you don't even have to come to see doctor, but if you wish to chit chat then you may come.

There will be no CT scan or MRI as it doesn't not make any difference. Don't waste the effort.

This will be my last visit to doctor as I'm really down every time after a doctor visit. I can't sleep well for few days. It Takes me a few days to be strong again.


Chit chat means just answering question, there will be no CT scan or MRI scan at all as it does help. Even if you feel pain, he will not conduct any scan also. As it makes no difference.

I think this will be my last visit to doctor, as every time I see doctor it give me a very bad feeling. Then it take times for me to be strong again. I couldn't sleep well every time after I see doctor.

As my white blood cell are still low, I will start my traditional medicines from my neighbor on Monday. My neighbor who have stage 4 lung cancer free for more than 15 years will be my role model.

I will follow her instruction